Good morning friends (and if not already a friend WELCOME NEW FRIEND)
It is MONDAY, whomever came up with the names of the week should have called this one "aw man I can't believe the weekend is over, and i have to go to work/school! I wish it was still the weekend"~DAY! So, this blog is new for me, but I will get the swing of it sooner or later. And I think what I would like to do is a q&a session later on down the line if u want to inbox me a question u cant get answered or want to remain private u can inbox me and I will get the answer for you angelsheckles@gmail.com today I woke up feeling REALLY REALLY bad! it is raining here in Kentucky, I have to work, both of my hands are swollen so I am typing with two fingers and really slow. my right foot is swollen, i have a massive headache and my Humira is still wrecking my immune system! I have a huge rash on the BACK of my thigh, how in the world am I supposed to SEE IT, u should have seen the comedy show I put on trying to look at it myself, like a dang kitten chasing my tail! I have to take my reigmen of meds before I can start the day Amlodipine-blood pressure pill, Voltren-anti-inflammatory (to be mobile) and Flexeril-muscle relaxer (so I dont have any spasms) then when i get home I have to take my low dose Chemo med the dreadful METHOTREXATE ick! but the funny thing is I am taking a low dose cancer medicine THAT CAN ACTUALLY CAUSE CANCER IN THE ONES THAT DONT HAVE IT!! Oxy Moron or what? Well it has been nice getting this off of my chest, but I have to run and get ready for work, after all it is Monday and I already would LOVE to call in, but I need the money so I guess I will go! maybe tonight I will write more about the effects of the medicines...... YES THATS WHAT I'LL DO! thank you for listening and may your journey through pain be as peaceful as possible!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
AS I AM; TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME
Saturday, June 18, 2011 at 11:23pm
as you all that know me know i like to write, and most often i channel what i am feeling into words that can flow onto paper or in the case onto screen! lol. I have been in a constant battle for the last 2yrs with this sickness i hate RHEUMATOID ARHTRITIS. I will not go into what it is and what is does again if you know me then you read my previous posts! Just know that if you haven't had the luxury of being close to someone thats got it GOOD! Well now I have two new lovely illness' to fight with, and the more i battle daily the less i want to be the old angel i once was. I used to be the girl with the bright smile and the loud conversation to match I could hang out in O'Malley's, Cardinal Inn, Velvet Rose or even just walking with my girls down broadway cause it was Derby and we wanted to see and be seen. Then I found out my whole life was changing whether I liked it or not, I was not the same person. It seemed like almost over night I was....... different? I had a pain on my left foot and my right hand, wait what is happening here and why? what did i do to make this happen?? I have always been the girl that lived by her own rules and didnt worry about what others thought, i liked to have people wonder what the hell was she thinking. But i did have a hand full of friends to turn to when i wanted to go out, or if i had man problems or if they had man problems then it seems like i woke up and there was noone there but me. where did everyone go? what happened? is it because i couldnt go to the clubs anymore or was it because my meds didnt allow me to drink as heartily as before? I'll tell you what happened, SELFISH & SCARED thats what they were and what they are. I would have liked to know that i had true friends that would have said i am picking up dinner and coming to just lay in the bed with you and watch movies just because I know u dont feel up to anything else. But thats not the sort of friends I have or shall i say HAD cause i have started weeding them out one by one and not thought about them anymore, until i watched lean on me tonight. Then i thought what if i had CANCER would i go through chemo alone (well of course my husband is always by myside) I see all the time on tv women supporting one another and having a friendship. I just thought i would channel my thoughts and let all that decide to read this if you have friends and they are sick or if it is you that is sick and have crappy girlfriends i would say REEVALUATE ur friendship and question would they stay or would they go? I thought my BEST friend would stay but it was a choose to let her go, as much as it hurt me to do I let her go cause I GREW APART. I am lonely sometimes for a conversation with another women but then i wake up in the arms of the one who loves me illness & all i decide why should i cry over spilled milk?
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as you all that know me know i like to write, and most often i channel what i am feeling into words that can flow onto paper or in the case onto screen! lol. I have been in a constant battle for the last 2yrs with this sickness i hate RHEUMATOID ARHTRITIS. I will not go into what it is and what is does again if you know me then you read my previous posts! Just know that if you haven't had the luxury of being close to someone thats got it GOOD! Well now I have two new lovely illness' to fight with, and the more i battle daily the less i want to be the old angel i once was. I used to be the girl with the bright smile and the loud conversation to match I could hang out in O'Malley's, Cardinal Inn, Velvet Rose or even just walking with my girls down broadway cause it was Derby and we wanted to see and be seen. Then I found out my whole life was changing whether I liked it or not, I was not the same person. It seemed like almost over night I was....... different? I had a pain on my left foot and my right hand, wait what is happening here and why? what did i do to make this happen?? I have always been the girl that lived by her own rules and didnt worry about what others thought, i liked to have people wonder what the hell was she thinking. But i did have a hand full of friends to turn to when i wanted to go out, or if i had man problems or if they had man problems then it seems like i woke up and there was noone there but me. where did everyone go? what happened? is it because i couldnt go to the clubs anymore or was it because my meds didnt allow me to drink as heartily as before? I'll tell you what happened, SELFISH & SCARED thats what they were and what they are. I would have liked to know that i had true friends that would have said i am picking up dinner and coming to just lay in the bed with you and watch movies just because I know u dont feel up to anything else. But thats not the sort of friends I have or shall i say HAD cause i have started weeding them out one by one and not thought about them anymore, until i watched lean on me tonight. Then i thought what if i had CANCER would i go through chemo alone (well of course my husband is always by myside) I see all the time on tv women supporting one another and having a friendship. I just thought i would channel my thoughts and let all that decide to read this if you have friends and they are sick or if it is you that is sick and have crappy girlfriends i would say REEVALUATE ur friendship and question would they stay or would they go? I thought my BEST friend would stay but it was a choose to let her go, as much as it hurt me to do I let her go cause I GREW APART. I am lonely sometimes for a conversation with another women but then i wake up in the arms of the one who loves me illness & all i decide why should i cry over spilled milk?
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vent
Wednesday, July 6, 2011 at 11:04pm
I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place! ugh I dont know why this is my life, it feels like I have suffocating with pain and swelling! i am in the midst of a huge flare, y of all weeks this week it had to go full force!It started with my right elbow hurting, then my middle finger on my left hand now I can NOT bend it and my whole hand is hurting and swollen. I hate u RA I hate how u changed my life! I hate how u order my steps as though you are GOD, you are NOT my god and you do not have the right to pick fights with me. I am so upset right now I cant even get the right words to form into sentences, I can't understand the tears that are pouring down my cheeks right now, wondering how am i going to get through this. Yes some will and has always said hand it over to God he will work it out, but I cant overlook the fact that my pain is so great here lately! ugh just wanted to vent.
starting from the bottom requires lots of upper body strength
the world is filled with people who do ugly things, why do they act this way? some lie to keep from losing what they love some lash out because they fear the future. some put up walls because they have regrets. yes everyone has a reason for the ugly things they do. and once we find out why,then we can try to stop them. I am a person that loves to read and I love love love to write (as u will come to find out after reading countless stories about me and by me) I have some old post that I am going to load on here and as people come and read that will prompt me to write new ones and hopefully this blog will take off. My cousin came up with the idea to do this, and maybe this is a wonderful way to get all of this out of my system. and work out well for me, please let me know what I can do to improve this site and what YOU would like to discuss! thanks for letting me bend your ear!
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